Yesterday at my OB appt, we discussed induction dates. The appt went well and baby girl appears to be growing well. Her heartbeat sounds good...considering....
Today I got a message from my OB that she had gotten a hold of our cardiothoracic surgeons office, our pediatric cardiologist's office and the hospital labor & delivery unit and NICU. They are all on board for an induction date of October 4th. Our little peanuts first open heart surgery is tentatively scheduled for October 8th. Of course if necessary that will change based on her needs.
It's a relief to finally have the dates set, but at the same time it makes it that much more of a reality to me. I've been so busy lately that I haven't allowed myself much time to ponder or worry about our little girl's future. Today that all came to a screeching halt. After I messaged immediate family members and a few close friends about the dates, I started to receive text messages back from them with encouraging words and well wishes. As I'm reading through them and watching our two older kids play in the back yard, the tears started welling up. The fear creeps back in and the doubt starts to take hold. I know I need to stay positive, but I'm not perfect and there are some days that I wonder.....Why us? Why our baby? Why any baby at all? Why such a complex heart defect? Will she grow up to live a happy life? Is our family strong enough to handle this? But then I have to stop myself b/c what good comes out of that. Instead I will end on the note that we have a large support system. Our baby girl IS strong and will continue to be strong. We will all fight together to keep our little girl healthy and get her heart working to the best that it possibly can with her diagnosis.
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