...that is what they say anyway. My high school best friend used to say it and as an adult I hear it all the time as well. Most of the time you don't know the reason, but sometimes it seems so obvious that you have to believe that someone more powerful than you had a hand in it. As I sit and contemplate everything that has been thrown our way recently, all I can do is sit back and wonder.
A little back story: Memorial Day weekend two years ago. We got a call that my husband's dad was very ill and we needed to take him to the hospital about 3 hours away to receive care. Off we went, both our kids in tow and ended up sitting in the ER from 7pm til 2am with our kiddos and their grandpa. He ended up being misdiagnosed and sent home a couple days later, only to be life flighted back to the hospital a day after being discharged. From there, things took a turn for the worse and he spent around 4 months in the hospital. More than once my husband was told that he needed to call in his family b/c they didn't expect his dad to make it. For the most part, my husband was by himself out there with his dad and making medical decisions on his dad's behalf since he was on a ventilator and couldn't make them for himself. It was lots of time off work for my husband, time away from his wife and kids and lots of money on gas and food while he went back and forth and slept in the waiting room while he was there. Not to mention the emotional toll it took on my husband. Such an emotional time for all of us. Luckily, his dad is still with us today and beat the odds. The doctors did not expect him to live, but he did. Miracles do happen. He now lives on his own and is a much better grandpa than he was before his health scare. It brought us all closer as a family. Maybe there was a reason behind him getting so sick. We thought at the time that it was the hardest thing we ever had to deal with and couldn't wait to catch a break. Little did we know that this was just a prep for what was really in store for us.
Fast forward: Memorial Day 2012. We lost one amazing woman on this day. Chris's grandma passed away. She was such an amazing and strong woman and our kids adored their great-grandma. She was my husband's last living grandparent. We are saddened that our unborn daughter will never get to meet her Grandma Lorraine.
Four days later - the day of Gma Lorraine's visitation. We had an ultrasound scheduled for 3:30 pm that day and then we were going to head straight to the visitation. I was 21 weeks along. Because Chris's sister was born with Down Syndrome and had a hole in her heart at birth, we had a Level 2 u/s to check the heart for any defects. The u/s ran late and it took two techs. My husband caught on that something was wrong, but I was oblivious. Needless to say, all the techs said was that they couldn't get a good picture of our little girls heart b/c of the way she was laying and that our doctor would talk it over with us. And here comes the smack in the face.....my OB told us that there was something wrong with our daughter's heart. The u/s pictures weren't very clear or detailed, but it looked like there was a hole in the middle of the heart and some calcification on the top. She referred us to a pediatric cardiologist to get a fetal echocardiogram done. This appt would not be til June 15th, when I was a little farther along. Facing the family that night and trying to deal with all the emotions from this and the emotions from losing our grandma was a little to much for us. We made it through, but it was not easy.
Everything happens for a reason:
- Chris's dad gets sick, and a year later on the same holiday, we find out even more terrifying news about our unborn daughter.
- Since this is our last child, I decided to switch OB clinics to receive a more personal experience. And boy did I get it. My OB is one of the most amazing and caring doctors. She also just so happened to graduate high school from my home town with my oldest brother. I switched on a gut instinct, and now I know that the reason was b/c I would need her standing by my side to help me through this pregnancy and diagnosis.
- My mother in law is an RN at the hospital where we are delivering our little peanut. She worked many years as a cardiac nurse in the cardiac intensive care unit. She has worked alongside the pediatric cardio thoracic surgeon that will be doing our daughter's surgery.
When I look at those 3 things listed, I can't help but realize that things really do happen for a reason. I still don't know what the reason is for us to become the parents of a heart baby or why God chose us. All I know is that we have a rough road ahead, but we also have a large support system. All we can do now is hope and pray that our daughter is strong enough to pull through all her surgeries and live a happy life with her big sister and big brother that can't wait to meet her.
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